


Valentine Pen-Pals

by Lycaon_pictus



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Crowley is Very Spooky, Eldritch Crowley, Human Aziraphale (Good Omens), Other, Please Act Afraid He's Trying His Best, Valentine's Day, baby's first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lycaon_pictus/pseuds/Lycaon_pictus
Summary: Aziraphale is prepared to suffer through Valentine's Day at his office when he stumbles upon a mysterious and spooky mailbox with no owner. But it becomes clear that someone is receiving his messages, and sending their own back to him.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	Valentine Pen-Pals

**Author's Note:**

> I did it. I finally posted something. And I even did it on time! Looks it's still technically Valentine's Day where I am so I'm counting this as a win.   
> This is definitely rushed as I wasn't planning to write anything for today but inspiration struck and I managed to get this done in time. Enjoy this silly drabble!

Valentine’s Day at the office was a mixed affair, to put it politely. And if Aziraphale was anything, he was certainly polite. So, it was with a muted optimism that he entered his work that day, wading through paper hearts and other decorations in various shades of red. He did spare a grimace for the glitter already beginning to form a sheen on every surface and adding to the stores already present within the aged carpet. Not even the elevator was spared.

Upon reaching his floor he was greeted by an overwhelming amount of foil balloons and garland. He was fairly sure he saw roses set up in vases scattered around the available flat surfaces. Passing by the desks of his coworkers he spotted each adorned with a small box, decorated with hearts – of course – waiting for candy or Valentines to be deposited. While everyone had at least one small goody bag placed within, it was hard to miss the extra gifts on the desks of some of his more popular colleagues. Aziraphale tried to convince himself that it was nice for his co-workers to be appreciated, but he had a hard time fully tamping down his judgements of office politics.

After passing through the obligated “Happy Valentine’s Day!”s to and from his coworkers he reached his desk and dropped down into his chair. Despite his desk placement being far from optimal – he was backed against a wall with little space to maneuver his chair – he did appreciate the solitude the area provided him.

He wasn’t surprised to find only the single goody bag resting in the little box set up on his desk. He knew that, while he was pleasant and approachable to his coworkers, he was far from a prominent figure within the workspace. It wasn’t something he strove to achieve, but it still stung a bit to have it reinforced so clearly. He shook off the negative feelings. He had plenty else to focus on.

Some time later Aziraphale was broken from his workflow by discovering he had run out of coffee. He took a moment to stretch before taking his cup and walking to the break room. He grimaced internally at seeing his manager already there, then scolded himself for his initial reaction. He put on his best fake smile as Sandalphon looked up. Sandalphon returned the smile, though it would more accurately be described as a leer.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Aziraphale. How are you enjoying our little celebration?”

“Quite well, thank you. There’s certainly a – ah – festive atmosphere.”

Sandalphon grinned wider, “You noticed the decorations!” Aziraphale resisted the urge to roll his eyes. As if he could miss it, “I had them put up special for this office level. Gabriel was enthusiastic about decorating the building, so I felt it would be nice to do a bit extra.”

As expected, this was a move to suck up to Gabriel. Aziraphale didn’t know why he put so much effort into these pursuits. Sandalphon was clearly favored by Gabriel already.

“Well, I’d say you made a good call! It looks great,” Aziraphale focused on getting to the coffee maker in hopes of distracting himself from the lie.

“I’m glad you think so,” Sandalphon purred.

Aziraphale tamped down a shiver. Leave it Sandalphon to make a “thank you” sound like a threat.

Screwing the lid back onto his coffee cup he cheerfully called out, “Have a great day!”

“Have a lovely Valentine’s,” Sandalphon replied, watching him leave.

Aziraphale was glad to be back at his desk. Yet as he tried to get back to work, he found it difficult to concentrate, still feeling Sandalphon’s gaze. After trying and failing several times to make progress on his tasks, he rubbed his eyes and puffed out a sigh. Then his bag by his desk caught his eye, and a soft smile appeared on his face.

“A walk will do me good, I think,” he murmured to himself, standing and grabbing his bag.

Aziraphale made his way from the office to the mail room, checking his box first before setting off on his task. He had a few letters, mostly regarding work, though there was a pink envelope clearly concealing a Valentine labelled as from Gabriel. This time Aziraphale was unable to contain his grimace. He had also received one from Madame Tracy from HR and young Newton from sales, which made him smile. Tucking his mail away he pulled out a handful of Valentines from his bag. He wandered around the mail room looking in mailboxes to see who did and did not receive Valentines and tucking the Valentines he had made into the boxes of those who hadn’t received any.

Though he had made many of them, he quickly found himself holding the last letter. Fortunately, he had been able to fill all the mailboxes he found, and he had to look around to find another empty mailbox. At last, he found one, tucked way away in a dark corner. Walking up to it Aziraphale bent down to see whose box it was, but the label was so worn and damaged the name had been reduced to illegible hashes and splotches. With a sympathetic _tsk_ at the sorry state of the name tag, Aziraphale slipped the Valentine into the dark box.

Stepping back, he pulled out his own Valentines to go through. Tracy gave him a slightly lurid handmade card with a wine voucher tucked into it, while Newt had given him a store-bought card with a sweet message inside, thanking Aziraphale for helping him adjust to his job and ending with an invite to dinner with him and his new girlfriend.

Sadly, the warm and fuzzy feeling faded when he came to Gabriel’s. It was also a store-card, but the message was not nearly as kind as Newt’s. _Hope to run into you there. Keep up the good work, Sunshine!_ Included was a gift card for a discounted gym membership.

Aziraphale sighed heavily, closing his eyes against the hurt welling up within him. This was far from the first slight Gabriel had made against his weight, but somehow his boss managed to wound him each time.

“Buck up, Aziraphale,” he whispered to himself, taking a deep breath.

He tucked the cards into his bag and slung it over his shoulder to head back to his desk. As he turned to leave, however, he noticed the absence of a letter in the corner mailbox. He blinked in confusion and bent down to look into the box, then around on the floor upon finding the Valentine was indeed missing. Unable to find it, he shrugged to himself. He would have seen if anyone had picked up the mail, as he was standing right next to the box. Someone must have taken it from the other side, though Aziraphale had no idea why anyone would.

There wasn’t anything he could do about it either way. So, after another glance at the box he headed back to his desk, passing his mailbox on the way. And then he doubled back, having noticed a new letter stuck in his mailbox.

Pulling it out, Aziraphale was puzzled to find a paper heart without an envelope. The paper was a faded purple color, with black – designs? They looked closer to the product of a piece of paper being pulled out of a printer too early, leaving tracks of smeared ink across the page. Across the front in a typewriter-like print it read:

**_Roses are Red_ **

**_Violets are Blue_ **

And upon opening up the card the poem continued:

**_I am made of the Darkness_ **

**_and Nightmares that haunt You_ **

Aziraphale stared at the card for a long while before quietly closing it and putting it back into his bag. Pausing again, he shook his head and chuckled.

“What a strange prank to pull. Quite dramatic though, I’ll give them that,” he patted his bag and walked out of the mail room and back to his cubicle to continue with his work.

About lunch time, he remembered the bag of candy on his desk and plucked it from the box to see what was inside. He found himself rather disappointed at the selection. It was a collection of cheap, overly sweet candies one would often find either in bulk bags or in the hands of small children. Not one piece of dark chocolate to be found. Aziraphale sighed, wondering if there was anything else he could do with contents besides stick them in his bag to throw away at home.

He remembered the mysterious mailbox from earlier and was struck with an idea. Taking a sticky note, he cut it into the shape of a heart and wrote, _I hope you enjoy these little Valentine’s treats!_ before sticking it onto the bag. Grabbing it he quickly walked to the mail room, heading straight for the shadowy corner, and placing the bag inside. He stepped back with a little smile, happy to have found a use for the candy – even if it meant pawning it off on someone else.

Since he was already there, Aziraphale stopped by and glanced in his mailbox to see if anything had happened to come while he had been working. To his surprise, there was a letter waiting for him. Pulling it out he saw it was the same sort of strange Valentine he had received earlier, though it was a faded red instead of purple, and he was fairly certain the black marks were in a different configuration than before. Again, there was a message in faux type on the front and inside.

**_Taco bout amazing!_ **

**_Your Offerings please Me._ **

Despite the pun, there were no images on the card. Aziraphale turned it over in hands, but there was nothing else on the card. An odd feeling crept over him as he turned a suspicious gaze towards the mailbox in the corner. It couldn’t be possible, he’d only just put the candy in the mailbox, but walking over he confirmed that the little bag was already gone. There was no way for him to deny the correlation, no matter how ludicrous it seemed.

Pulling out the pocket watch he always kept on him, he checked to see if his lunch break had begun. Confirming it had, he decided he might as well spend the time performing an experiment to see if he had really found some strange, reality-breaking secret within his office or if his imagination had completely run off with him.

He half jogged back up to his office and grabbed legal pad and pen before returning to the mail room. Using a wall to write on, he penned out a short message in his flowing cursive.

_Good afternoon,_

_My name is Aziraphale and I have been the sender of last two messages you received. I confess I’m not entirely aware of whom I am addressing, as your mailbox has had its name plate damaged and I have not seen you around the office. Might I ask whom I am addressing? I would be eager to make the acquaintance of anyone within the office whom I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting._

_Yours,_

_Aziraphale Fell_

Carefully, he folded up the paper and tucked it into the mysterious mailbox. He had intended to watch and see what happened to the letter, but as he pulled his hand away, he realized that it was too dark for him to see beyond the edges of the opening. Since he couldn’t watch what happened to his letter, he walked over to his mailbox hopes of catching a glimpse of how the response appeared. Upon reaching his box, however, he found himself rather disappointed to find it empty. He stepped back, brows furrowed. The responses had appeared so quickly last time. Had he done something wrong? Or had this been a ridiculous flight of fancy this whole time.

Aziraphale leaned against the wall behind him and sighed, scolding himself for believing such a silly idea in the first place. Still staring at his mailbox, though not really looking at anything, he let his mind wander. Thinking back on the two strange letters he remembered his initial notion of an office prank. Perhaps rather than a coworker, it was a member of the mailroom staff slipping ominous messages into his mailbox. That would explain how quickly he had received a reply and would certainly make more sense than some sort of magically appearing message. Though it was still odd that the prankster was able to identify whose mailbox the reply should be placed in. Perhaps they recognized his handwriting? It was certainly distinct, though he wouldn’t think that the mail staff would pay all that much attention. Maybe someone had happened to take notice of –

There was a letter in his mailbox.

Aziraphale blinked slowly and pushed himself off of the wall, looking intently at the seemingly innocuous piece of paper that had not been there before. It hadn’t been slid in from the other side. He had been lost in thought, but not so much so that he would miss someone putting something into his mailbox. No, the letter had not been there, and then it simply _was_.

Hesitantly he reached in pulled out the new message. It was not, as the previous letters were, in the shape of a heart. It was more similar to the paper of his legal pad, though it was a much sicklier looking yellow and lacked any sort of lines. The strange black markings were still present and unfolding it he saw the font was same as well. The message – to his dread and excitement – was longer than the others.

**_Aziraphale_ **

**_I Know You have sent Messages to Me. How else would I be able to Reply? You have not Seen Me because I cannot be Seen by Mortals. I am Beyond You. My Name cannot be Written by any Mortal Hands in any of their Languages. I have been Called by many Names but You may Call Me Crowley. You are an interesting Mortal Aziraphale. I await Your next Message with Curiosity._ **

Crowley. A strange name for a strange person. Or not-person, if Aziraphale was to believe the message. And despite all his reason and logic, he felt inclined to believe it.

Looking at his legal pad, he pondered what his next message should be. He felt a smile grow on his face as he began to form an idea, and he checked his pocket to see what time he had left in his break. Seeing he had enough to execute his idea, he quickly left to put it into action.

~

Returning again to the mailroom, Aziraphale carried a plastic bag along with him to the back corner. Crouching down, he set the bag on the floor and began pulling out various items: a bottle of wine, – courtesy of Madam Tracy’s gift – a small box of assorted chocolates, a rose, an apple, and a small teddy bear holding a heart shaped box of candies. It was hardly an impressive arrangement, but he hoped it would be an amusing, if not pleasant, array of Valentine’s Day gifts.

First, Aziraphale tore off the letter he had written in between his errands, folded it, and slipped it into the box. It read:

_Dearest Crowley,_

_I’m glad you have enjoyed my messages. I do admit I’m not quite sure what to make of your references to “mortals,” but I suppose that even if this is some strange joke on your part you might appreciate a few Valentine’s Day gifts. If you aren’t attempting to fool me, then consider these a look into the world of “mortals,” as you say._

_I’ve included for you some wine, which I admit I enjoy indulging in sometimes to my detriment; a few chocolates from my favorite little shop, I’ve included a variety as I have no familiarity as to your tastes; a rose, as is appropriate for the day, as well as being beautiful any day of the year; an apple, which has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day but I felt it prudent to include something healthy to offset all the sweets I’m feeding you and apples are a good snack I feel; and finally a stuffed bear, of which I will not be cross should you decide to throw it out, it was sitting by the register at the grocery store from which I bought the apple and it was rather too cute for me to resist. The last item does contain candy within the little heart, though, so remember to pull that out before you toss it._

_I do hope you enjoy my little spread!_

_Yours,_

_Aziraphale Fell_

Having placed it into the darkness of the box he grabbed the wine bottle and carefully pushed it in. It thankfully fit and slid into the darkness after the letter. Stacking the rest together, he put that too into the box, noting that there was no resistance from the bottle, though the dimensions of the mailboxes dictated that there should be.

Satisfied, Aziraphale gathered the plastic bag and returned to his office cubicle to return to work.

~

Checking his pocket watch Aziraphale was relieved to find the workday had drawn to a close. He allowed himself to put his arms above his head and stretch before gathering his things to leave. Excitedly he left the office and headed down to the mail room, an unexpected bounce in his step. He smiled wide upon reaching his mailbox and seeing aged, yellow paper sitting within. He pulled it out and tucked it carefully into his bag, having decided to read it when he returned home.

He clutched his bag to his chest the entire train ride home, grinning to himself and barely suppressing his wiggles of delight. Upon returning to his apartment above a little bookshop, he forced himself to set aside the letter and prepare dinner, telling himself he would read the letter with some cake and tea.

Aziraphale managed to stick to his resolution, and it was with incredible enthusiasm that he went to his couch with his dessert. He couldn’t place just why he was so excited, but he chose not to question what happiness deigned to show itself in his life. Having settled in he finally opened the letter.

**_Aziraphale,_ **

**_It appears I have made a Mistake. For it seems that You are not a Mortal after all but instead such a Being I have Heard the Mortals Speak of which they Call an Angel. In all my Existence I have never received such Offerings from Mortals as You have Given to Me. I Feel I have been Robbed by My previous Followers. Their Gifts pale in comparison to those that You have Given Me. I cannot Fathom which is a Rare Occurrence for a Being such as I why None has Thought to Give Me such Delights as Wine and Chocolate. Clearly They Wished to Keep these for Themselves. Though I should Feel Anger I find that I cannot blame Them. I will not Give these up either._ **

**_I include the Stuffed Bear in this Statement. I will not be Disposing of It and I should Punish You for Suggesting such a Thing. However since this is Your First Slight I shall Forgive You this. I am Curious to Know more about the Origins of this Bear as I have not Heard of a type so Small and by Your flippant descriptions plentiful. Inform Me of this in Your next Letter._ **

**_The Box the Small Creature holds will suffice as a Place to Keep the Petals of the Rose within once I have Consumed the Candy it Now holds. Since You are not Truly a Mortal I will Reveal to You Knowledge I would not otherwise Share. Of all Things that Dwell on Your Mortal Plane I find I enjoy the Flora most. Though the Wine has come in at a very close Second._ **

**_The Apple was a Fine Specimen. It Gives me great Amusement that this should be the Fruit You Chose to Offer Me. If You do not Know Why as I Suspect You will have to Find out on Your own. Write to Me if You manage it._ **

**_I Find that I am Unsure What Gifts I may Bestow You with in return. There are Things which are commonly Asked for by Mortals but as You are not a Mortal I do not Know if such Things would be Desired. Inform Me in Your next Letter._ **

**_I Await Your Words._ **

Aziraphale read and reread, and then reread the letter again, blushing harder with each new pass. Despite the strangeness of the message, it was clear that Crowley had appreciated his little gifts. Not just appreciate, they’d loved them. They had called him an angel. It was, he thought, the sweetest thank you note – the sweetest note period – he had ever received.

As he finished his dessert, spent his evening relaxing and reading – both the current book he was working on as well as the letter – and eventually getting ready for bed, he felt as if he were floating and couldn’t keep the silly smile from his face. Lying in bed he read the letter one more time before turning off the light. And as he lay composing a reply in his mind, he found that for the first time he was excited to go to work tomorrow.


End file.
